Like Father Like Son's Curse
by Mara93
Summary: Pre Scene Extender Ep. I and Love and You: Nathan muses on his relationship with Dan: includes Haley, Jamie, & a missed family member, based on official promos and official interviews about Nathan-Dan, all speculative, no unofficial spoilers


_**Like Father Like Son's Curse**_

_Pre-Scene Extender_

**About this story, what you should know before reading:** This is based on the CW promo for the new episode (_**I and Love and You**_) and interview comments from James Lafferty. It has no other spoilers than these promos and what he has said in interviews. If you don't watch promos and have not heard what James has said in interviews, you may not want to read this story.

If you do watch promos and interviews, this should not spoil anything for you. Since this is a pre extender, of course a lot of it will be speculation on my part.

**Rating M: **language and some dark tones

**Point of View:** Nathan's entirely. If the story flashes back, only the dialogue will be in italics. Haley is in the story, along with others, but this is mainly a father son story, featuring Nathan heavily of course.

Where and when this scene pre-extender takes place: This is before Nathan and Haley watch Dan's show. It includes the scene, in a shadowy way, where he is standing outside and she joins him, with all of course being subject to speculation since the episode has yet to air.

_**I've become so numb I can't feel you there **__**  
**__**Become so tired so much more aware **__**  
**__**I'm becoming this all I want to do **__**  
**__**Is be more like me and be less like you**_

_**And I know **__**  
**__**I may end up failing too **__**  
**__**But I know **__**  
**__**You were just like me with someone disappointed in you...**_

_Numb_~^~**Linkin Park**

I wait. I have no choice. The clock ticks as I stand outside and ponder what's to come. The seconds pass and I know once again even with my refusal of him, he is holding my _fate_ in his hands. He is deciding. And all I can do is…

_Wait._

It's to doubt me, to mock me, like he did when I was a teen and he would cheer me on from the side, rant at me how I was to play the game. It was all _his_ plan so I had to follow it. I had to do what he said. So now he's going to stab the knife in my already injured back. He's going to smile as he destroys half of my dream. _Or_ let me turn naïve with that hope I've always delusionally wanted to feel. Maybe he wants to get me back in his life, and so he's going to _save_ me through all this. And then expect the time, expect me to open my arms. Expect. _Expect_.

That's how it is with a puppet, _right_? You want it to go to the left, so you pull its strings and make it go there. You watch it jerk, its head spin as its legs swing with force. You watch it with a manipulative smile, _the puppet master_.

Maybe that's what Dan's always been. _I'm_ the puppet. He's my master. Oh but I got away from him. I married Haley and I have a son who I'm responsible for. I cut the strings.

_Didn't I?_

This is the man who, after he abandoned another pregnant woman, got my mom pregnant so they would later have me. He rejected the first kid, _or maybe not_. He has another story about my half brother. It was me though, and my mom he kept as his family. Then like a _curse_ he loved me…

_And loves me still._ That's what he says, yet he does this. He threw away his other son like he was the trash, but he held my puppet strings and yanked me this way before he pulled the other. For years I did what he said like the obedient _puppet_ son. Even as I sometimes underneath despised him, I _revered and followed_ him. I believed what he told me and later I found out he _lied_. He conjured the truth into a way that worked for his benefit. He didn't hurt his knee all that seriously. He _could_ have gone back and be the NBA star he wanted to be. I didn't have to be his prop. He quit because his own father pressured him. An ugly hideous cycle. Still, _I_ had the chance. _I_ could have gotten completely away.

_But have I ever?_

I want to stop feeling for him. I want to stop being _attached_ to him. Sometimes I wish he never had me, and then I come to my sense and realize how blessed my life is now. I _am_ finally in the NBA. It took hard work to get here and sacrifice, _but I'm here_, I'm in it and I _love_ it. I'm part of the game. _I'm making the game happen._ I'm part of a team. I have a wife and son who I would go to the death for. I love them fiercely, and on top of that, my wife and I have been married now for over seven years. Seven years and sure it has never been perfect, classified as abnormal sometimes, and I would do _nothing_ to end it. I love her now as much as I did the first time I told her on that park bench near my then apartment. Correction, I love her _more_.

I have _everything_, and yet now there is also _this thing_. This thing that has started, this rumor, _this lie_, this spitting on my life, my wife's and my son's, has been the worst.

Now _he_ has increased it a million times. I can't even scream out the truth because I won't be heard. He's miles away and still _jerking_ me around. _My dad_, the guy who was supposed to protect me like I protect my son, is going to go on TV and give me reason once more to hate him. He's bringing her to his _sermonic_ show that praises all his _dirty_ telling. He preaches to a crowd that is as _brainwashed_ as I've often been and others have felt around him. I love him. I hate him. I can't live with him. I can't live without him.

The _twist_ is this. Dan Scott is not a man who can easily be predicted. Right when you think he's going to turn your life to the left, _he whips around to the right_. You go flying in the air without knowing where you will land. Right when you think he's going to lower you to the fiery pit, _he leaves you in a layer of fluffy clouds_. You smile and think he's changed, that he's good really deep down. _Then_ he grabs the knife and starts jabbing you with it, poking you. Maybe his initiative is to bring her to his show to help me. Maybe He won't let her get the whole story out before he laughs in her face. Maybe he's _looking out_ for me. My superhero dad who smiles like the vampire wanting something more. _Never quite satisfied._ He'll save me, and then he'll _leer_ as he demands his reward.

_Either way I am cursed._

He loves to create havoc, to make you sick with despising of him. Look at Lucas. He hated Dan for years, and yet Lucas let the man be his tormentor. Dan used that, telling my brother he really wanted him. _Oh yeah, it was your mother's fault. Not mine._ Blame it on Karen, a woman who my dad could have driven insane with all he did to her. The hell he put that woman through. Karen, Lucas's mom, has never hurt a living soul. She has gone through the worst kind of pains. And yet my dad _used_ that. He _charmed_ her, he _smiled_ for her, he planned to kiss her and finally _get_ her.

_AFTER_ he killed her fiancée. After he _murdered_ Lucas's uncle and mine. _After_ he wiped the blood away with a puppet master's smile.

_Still_, I feel about him this way. Still, he manages to interfere with my life. I moved away from him. I rejected his calls. I first sought for him to have no time with my son Jamie. And then he went and saved my kid's life, and later my wife's. It would be so _easy_ to hate him. To _not_ feel this sickening curse of sometimes loving a man who is the contradictory villain…NOT. Such a twisted Superman.

He _saves_.

And then he _leeches_.

He's going to do this show and I want to yell at him. I want to _scream_ at him.

_So do you know this DAD, before you bring that woman onto your show? Do you know that your grandson, you profess to love, was scared that Momma and Dad might not be okay after this? He worried that if Grandpa and Grandma parted…maybe his parents would too._

Jamie went to Uncle Lucas just days before my standing outside right now. He went to my brother, who I'll say it now, I _love_ with everything in my heart that's left over after Jamie and Haley, because he proved to be my best friend. Even with how our father tried to keep us separate and enemies, Lucas and I learned that working together, we could achieve pretty much anything. Even though it all started out rocky, Lucas and I got close, and through that and Haley's deep friendship with him too, Jamie shares a special bond with his uncle. When Haley and I could barely afford a place, Lucas helped us out with the finances by staying with us, and helping us take care of our newly born son. He coached at the lesser known university I attended so I could play ball. Lucas sacrificed for us, and so it's no wonder when this Renee thing started, scaring my son, he went to his uncle.

It was right after Haley was back from jail. _Yeah, Jail._ As ludicrous that sounds. My wife had to go because she punched the woman who's been lying and telling the world that she's pregnant, and that the kid is my baby. She's saying I cheated on my wife with her. Which is _stupid_, because when you're married to Haley James Scott, you don't even _entertain_ the thought. You would never, _EVER_ do anything to cause her pain. That night, when she taunted my wife, Haley got upset and hit her, and of course the _gold-digger_ brought up charges. Then after Haley was sitting in jail for a few moments, she _dropped_ the charges. Before I could even get there, she _visited_ with my wife, and planted doubt factors in Haley's head. Haley told me later what happened, and that was when _it_ started. This whole lie started swimming with maybe evil truths, questions for my wife. Sure she loved me, but she needed to know more things. She needed to understand this. And it made me so upset because to have your wife not believing you, _that's the worst_.

Later we found out Jamie was sitting watching it, _us argue_. Maybe he was on the steps. That's what _I_ used to do. When Dan and my mom would fight, I'd sit on the steps and watch it all. I'd be so quiet that they wouldn't notice me. I bet Jamie was like that too.

_And do you know how much that kills me to think he was feeling what I used to feel? That Jamie was actually worried that his Momma and Dad might split up? Do you know how awful that is?_

We learned it all later, when we talked to him together. That's Haley, even if we're at odds in any way. She insists we keep our son as sheltered as is possible in this sometimes brutal world. We stand together in that.

Before that talk though, was Jamie's with his uncle, via internet. It went something like this,

_"Hey Jimmy Jam, how's it going?"_

_"Hi Uncle Luke."_

_"Peyton said you sounded a little down."_

Leave it to Lucas to cut to the chase when something was bothering his nephew.

Leave it to Jamie to change the subject.

_"How's Sawyer?"_

_"Ah, she's doing great. She can't wait to see you again. Peyton and I are thinking about visiting maybe for the holidays."_

_"I miss you Uncle Luke."_

_"Ah Bud I miss you too. We can always talk like this though you know? See each other, hear each other, everything. Now come on Jamie, what's bothering my nephew, huh?"_

Lucas was also perceptive, always caring, like his own uncle had been. I still hurt over Keith's demise. When I was first married to Haley and money was tight, he helped me repair an old car, and he worked alongside me at my dad's dealership, supporting me. So it was hard for me, but it nearly _destroyed_ Lucas. Keith had become like the dad my selfish father first refused to be. I don't care if Dan later wanted Lucas or whatever, after leaving Karen in that gym probably on her knees crying. I know he hurt her, more than once. No one's going to condone that, definitely not me.

He wasn't done there though. He got into a tiff with his brother or whatever. I don't know what my dad thought would excuse this. They didn't get along, so he took him from the son he abandoned. Lucas loved Keith like you would a father. My own father killed him. His own brother. _His flesh. His blood_. He MURDERED.

Finally my brother was going to have a full family, and my dad took a gun, raised it to his brother's precious heart, and shot him in a hallway that had been filled just minutes before with violent agony. Then the sickening man my father is, he left that gun in the hands of an innocent mentally depressed boy who only wanted to be loved, and so he made a crucial mistake. He took his own life. My father stood in that hallway and pretended the beautiful horrific story of that the boy killed his brother. _Oh, that boy killed Keith when Keith tried to save him, before he killed himself. It was so awful to see my brother bleeding and not be able to help. I couldn't do anything._ That was my father's PITIFUL story. And we all FELL for it. He cried with the rest of us. And he was _lying_. He was fucking with us all.

_"Mom had to go to jail."_

I can just imagine how Lucas sat up at that one, how his eyes probably squinted with that annoying, but endearing gesture. I don't shun it anymore, _family_. I don't have any embarrassment over deeply caring for my brother. I imagine being in a hallway like that with my brother, and _never_ could my hands have held a gun to him. I would have screamed and ran away first. I would have hugged him first. I love Lucas, and my dad may think that is lame and weak, but my dad is the weakest of all. He is the wolf, manipulating everything, but his day will come. Not by me or anyone else from his life I gather. Simply by fate.

_"What, jail?"_

_"Yeah, she hit someone who's been mean to Dad. I don't get it all, but Mom and Dad told me that she's lying. I don't know why she's lying. Mom and Dad keep fighting. I don't like it when they fight."_

Lucas knew about the lies being posted on TV, in magazines etc. He knew my story because I told him it myself. Haley had talked to him a lot too. Lucas of course supported us all the way. I asked if he believed me, and he said yes because he knew how much I loved Haley. _You have to understand how important that is._ I met Haley through a prank. I wanted to hurt my brother, get back at him, and so I made it available to get to know Haley. None of my plan ever worked out though. Pretty much instantly I was _liking_ her. And soon after, I was _wanting_ her. And beyond that before I knew it, I _loved_ her. As all this happened, Lucas and I started to get to know each other. We realized that we had a shared thorn in the side. _Dan_. He heard from me that he wasn't all that easy to live with. I heard from him that he put his mom through a lot. When Lucas wouldn't wake up in the hospital, I went to go see him to plead Haley's case, because she found out about the prank and she was hurting a lot. It ended up more about me though, and sort of him, and when he opened his eyes I was shocked. But oddly inside happy.

Lucas never had to like me or accept me, but with time he did. And with time I realized too he had good advice, and that his way of playing our game was actually pretty masterful. His way of living, when he wasn't doing the nonsense during his rebellious stage of riding carousels with wild girls, was admirable. As my relationship with Haley grew, some of the tension was still there, but with time Lucas grew to trust me. With Haley's influence, we trusted each other. And when Haley and I got married, and all the adults were telling us how foolish we were, Brooke was insisting it had to be because Haley was pregnant, Lucas was the one who raised his glass to us in toast and support, saying _we simply loved each other_. And that should be respected, and trusted. So that's why now with all this, I know if Lucas tells me he believes me, how much that means.

I can imagine though when his nephew came to him scared about his Momma and Dad possibly breaking up, It tore at Lucas's heart. I know it tore at mine when I found it out later.

Jamie and I have a pretty spectacular relationship now. But some months back I was not _father of the year_ by any means. Nor husband. After getting thrown through that window and having my basketball dreams smashed, I went to a really dark place. I fell hard into it, and the pit at its bottom seemed endless. I drank, resembled a bum, and caused such a hard indent in our couch that it actually creased inward. I _looked_ disgusting and I _felt_ it. My legs wouldn't function so I buried myself in alcoholic hell.

Lucas dryly joked about my state then, and sometimes firmly let me know I better knock it off, because I had _a lot_ that needed me. And Lucas sort of became the surrogate father to my then toddler son, who really ached for one. He stayed too the best friend of my wife who was tortured by my crappy state, helpless, until she threw those bottles on the floor and screamed at me to wake up.

_That_, and some other things did it. Soon enough I was walking again and I was even shooting for my dream again, with the help of a dear friend who I still miss, Q. And that was when I recovered my relationship with my son. Jamie was sometimes then even scared to be around me. If I hugged him he held back some. It made my arms burn with pain to think my little boy was unsure of me. It was worse than going through that window. I didn't rush it though. I gave him time, and the go-lucky kid he is, he came around fast. We started pal-ing around together again. We hung out. I threw him in the pool and he tagged along on his scooter when I ran up hills.

It's been a long time since then. Jamie just turned seven weeks ago. He is a bright kid who has the smarts of his mom I swear, but he has the competitive edge too sometimes from me, that little smirk. He's no longer scared of me, except for maybe just a healthy pinch, when I'm impatient and insisting he go to bed, and he tries to smile his way out of it with Haley. _Oh yeah_, she's tough too, but every once in a while, I get to play the unsmirking dad, and Jamie _runs_ up those steps then. _It's rare._ He's a good kid who usually listens. Haley's strong enough to get him to listen most the time. She's firm, but loving of course. I don't totally like playing _tough dad_, but when I need to, I have it in me. Still, after he gets up those steps and I ceremonially tuck him in, he hugs me and tells me he loves me. Or just smiles and says good night with a friendly smirk. He's growing and so the hugs are still there, but he likes to be cool about it now too, by sometimes smirking them off. Never though is he truly afraid of me anymore . Those dark months past are forgotten in his sweet head.

That's why I don't want him to have to deal with this. That's why Lucas probably frowned when he said those words that showed worry about Haley and I arguing more lately.

_"Hey, Jamie, I've known your mom and your dad a long time Bud. And they love you and they love each other. They're going through a hard time right now. I can't lie to you about that. I know you see it. I know it's bugging you, but they're going to be fine, alright? Don't you be scared."_

_"Thanks for my birthday present Uncle Luke."_

I bet Lucas sort of laughed at that. It's Jamie though, one subject to another, inherited from both of us. Haley can ramble. I can lose focus. Put them together, and you've got a _rambling losing focus kid_, ha. Who's way too smart for his own good.

_"You're welcome Jamie. I'm glad you liked it. You feeling better now?"_

_"Yeah, some. Give Sawyer a hug for me. Love you guys."_

_" Same. And I will, definitely. We'll see you soon alright Jamie. You need to talk anytime, I'm here okay Bud?"_

_"Yeah, thanks Uncle Luke."_

_Thanks Uncle Luke._ I know Lucas was disturbed after that conversation because he told Haley and me that he was. He sought us both out. I don't go on the computer a lot, but I was later that day checking on some things when Lucas came on and told me what happened.

_"Hey Nate."_

_"Hey Luke. How are Sawyer and Peyton?"_

_"They're great. Sawyer's getting big already and Peyton just goes nuts over her all the time. We're doing great. Nice having a fresh start, you know?"_

_"Yeah, I bet it is. So you don't miss Tree Hill."_

_"All the time Bro. Like I said though when I talked to you last time, we're going to try to visit in the winter."_

_"It'd be great to see you guys._

_"Yeah. Hey, how's it going, all the stuff with that woman, Renee?"_

_"Ah, not great, but hey, you know we're dealing."_

Lucas didn't let me go on with the explanation. He instead informed me about his earlier conversation with my son.

_"Yeah, hey, Jamie and I were talking earlier. He told me Haley went to jail."_

My sigh came hard before I answered that day.

_"Yeah, she hit her. Renee was really giving her a hard time. Trying to give her doubts. How did Jamie sound? The kid's been quiet a lot since Haley was let out. He wants to stay with her and stuff though. He doesn't want to be away from her that much."_

Lucas filled me in then entirely.

_"I know this is so hard on you and Haley. And I got your back, okay? All of you. But look Nate, Jamie's getting kind of scared about it all. You know, he saw what happened with Dan and Deb and I think he's kind of worried it may happen with you guys. Have you two been arguing a lot?"_

_"Oh man. Yeah, some. I think Haley doubts me. Which sucks because I thought she believed in me."_

Lucas came in firmly then, his face so serious.

_"Nate, she DOES believe in you. Look, this is as hard on her as it is on you, maybe even worse because the woman's lying about you. But hey, I've seen you guys go through it all, always together. How do you think I finally got with Peyton? I watched the two of you and I made sure I stopped being stupid and got with the woman I loved. Nathan, I know it's never been easy. I've watched you two struggle, but one thing's always been definite. You love each other. If she doubts, Nate, talk to her, and then just give her the space she needs. You know Haley. Sometimes she needs time."_

_"Yeah, I guess."_

_"Hey, is Haley there? I want her to hear this too."_

I had nodded my head then and called to Haley where she was downstairs. She argued back what I wanted until I told her Lucas was online, wanting to talk to us. That was when she climbed the steps and came into the room. We both sat down, not really close, but not terribly distant either. I knew Haley was exhausted of all this, and nearing a state of sarcasm in probably about a day, but for now she wanted to listen to her best friend just like I did.

_"Hey Hales. I was talking to Nate. And I know you guys are going through a lot, and you better believe Peyton and I are pulling for you both. Just um, like I was telling Nate, Jamie's having a hard time with this. It would probably help if you guys talk to him some…together."_

Haley stared at me then. I reluctantly nodded my head. I didn't want this to be true, _but it was_. Everything that was happening with us, _was affecting our son_. The same way it had affected me years back. The way I would never let hurt him.

Neither of us said anything after he said that. Lucas went on, sounding so much like Keith.

_"Hey, you know I love you guys. And I'm here for you. Just talk to your son, alright? He needs to hear from you both. And then just have fun with him. Just forget about this for a moment or two and just relax. Together. Okay, I got to go, but I'm here if you need me."_

_"Thanks Luke."_

_"Thank you Lucas. We love you so much."_

_"Yeah…you got it right back. Talk to you guys soon. Bye."_

I watched Haley close her eyes then, hold her hands crossed over her heart.

_"Oh God."_

_"Haley."_

She turned back around to me. This was still before where we reached a night ago, when Haley talked and I made sure she knew, _my dream was her_. This was when it was still so tense, and Jamie was hurting a lot. Starting to doubt his own parents. Starting to go into childhood fears.

She turned back around, faced me with concern, and so I spoke.

_"Lucas is right. We have to talk to him. Reassure him. I know you don't believe me right now."_

_"Nathan."_

I waited, challenging her to tell me that she _did_. She shook her head slowly.

_"I'm not saying you're lying. I'm just saying there are a lot of questions."_

I clenched at my jaw, before I released slowly. Anger wasn't going to solve any of this.

_"I know, but we can't focus on us now. We have to…"_

She filled in.

_"Focus on Jamie."_

_"Yeah."_

I nodded my head.

_"You know, my parents used to fight a lot. When my mom was actually home. They used to yell and I'd sit and watch them where they couldn't see me. Can you imagine if that's what Jamie's been doing?"_

She closed her eyes. I moved forward and reached for her hand, before she took it back.

At least we didn't scream the way _they_ had. Haley has always been a calm person who rarely goes that far. From the time I met her, I found an ease and peace that she showed me. Plus, we are dedicated to our son, and have learned from that dark time after my accident.

_"Let's go to talk to him now."_

I nodded my head.

We moved down the steps to the backyard where our son was playing on his swing set. I sat down on the swing next to him. Haley sat on the other one so we surrounded. It was a partly overcast day to go with both of our dull moods.

Dully pained.

His head was down. He was not even swinging. Jamie stays still when he's really upset. He avoids any gentle faces around him. He closes up like sometimes Haley does, and I guess even me.

_"Hey Jamie, we need to talk to you."_

Finally he looked up at us, on either side. I watched as Haley reached over and touched his hand. When it was the first time to tell him about this thing with Renee, I pretty much did it by myself. Haley couldn't go to our son and talk about something that she didn't even totally get. So I did it alone, with her standing nearby.

This time, Jamie feared our commitment to each other. So we had to put up a united front. It wasn't, and is not, _false in any way_. I _love_ Haley with rawness in my heart. I will never let her go. It was just that day Haley and I had yet to get it out. We needed first to deal with Jamie before we could face our own issues with all this. Later we would. This time was Jamie's.

That day it was still so irritated, so we surrounded our son, what kept us solidly together at that moment.

_"Yeah, your mom's right. Hey, I know it's been hard with all this stuff in the magazines and everything…"_

_"And me going to jail…but Jamie it's going to get better."_

_"Yeah."_

She smiled at my sort of lame answer, and reached all the way across Jamie for my hand, intertwining our fingers as she spoke to our son.

_"Jamie, we just want you to know you can come to us if you get scared. And…"_

Jamie, when I first told him, asked me innocently if I _still loved…Momma_? My heart pierced then. My voiced chilled as I answered…

This time, with both of us talking to him, It was my turn to fill in strongly.

_"I love you Jamie and I love your mom. I know it's been kind of crazy around here lately, but that's never going to change."_

Haley smiled at me in that moment. It was still tense. We still had yet to get everything out. She gave me a firm loving look before she continued our talk.

_"Your dad's right Jamie. We're always going to be here for you."_

Our son looked up at us that moment, whispering questioningly.

"And you're going to stay together, right? My friend, Jace at school, his parents got divorced. And he sometimes stays with his mom and sometimes with his dad. It's not going to be like that though, right? We're all going to live in the same house?"

My hand solidly shook at that. I could feel Haley's clasping tightly over it. I wanted to die. I wanted to cry. I was that _kid_ again, hiding in the shadows, watching, listening. _Scared._ And yet _my_ dad taught me to be strong and never admit any weakness. He told me to not cry or feel. So when I was that scared kid, I would just go out to the back and shoot hoops until my arms fatigued. I never asked them what I wanted because I was taught to work at my game, and pretty much _shut up_ about anything else. And they never got divorced. She just started spending a lot more time away from home. Even that night I begged her to come back because my dad was hassling me so much that summer, my mom told me to _take_ it.

While she did it with another guy.

I grew up around _deception_ and didn't even know it. I was lied to more than once as a kid and yet I was so _naïve_ about it. I believed my brother was my enemy, which was stupid. He was one of the ones to _save_ me.

The other was sitting across from me that day, years after I was that kid. As we told Jamie, she held tightly onto my hand. She had to know what I was thinking, what memories were coming up. Haley and I don't talk a lot about when I was a kid, but she knows more than _anyone_ else. Even when she's been upset with me, she's protected me from _him_, told him to stop trying to control me. Warned him to leave me alone.

It was then when my son asked that question my voice left. I looked weakly to Haley to please say it. _Reassure our son_. Because that question _killed_ me.

_Imagine it._ You're a seven year old kid. You live with parents who joke with each other a lot, and you. They kiss regularly and you see it. Sure they're decent enough to not make out in front of you, but you're aware that your parents really care for each other, because they are properly affectionate. Now all of the sudden there's this weird woman in magazines saying she's carrying your dad's child. Your mom seems tense about all this. Your dad tells you it's all lies. Your parents say they love you. But you're sitting in the corner watching them argue.

Picture that and think how scared my son must have been in those moments that he goes to his uncle to get comfort. To ask Haley that question. The one that just _massacred_ me. Because I never wanted my son to have that doubt. The one thing I always wanted constant in his life was that we would always keep him safe, and that I love his mom and we would never part. _Don't you ever worry about that Jamie_…and yet here he understandably was.

_"Yes, Jamie, we're going to live in the same house. Your dad and I are not splitting up. Jamie, you don't have to worry. I love your dad."_

Finally I found it. Finally I could talk.

_"And I love your mom. I always will Jamie."_

We hugged him then. We gave each the time and then just kind of joined in together.

Until he smiled and beamed finally with some reassurance. Haley suggested a swing-off. Jamie loved the idea. We teased each other in family ways. We kicked and pumped until our feet got as high as they could get without going over. Jamie wondered how we didn't go _all_ the way around. He thought it would be cool if we did. Haley and I just smiled at each other, told him to lay back and close his eyes. We all did it, _and loved it_. The freedom. The weightlessness. The power.

That day is past now. Haley and I _did_ talk as we needed to. She got over her doubts as I reassured her _she_ was my dream. My true one. And that I would never let her go.

Haley and I are doing a lot better. _We're solid._ We made love again and reaffirmed everything we mean to each other. It felt amazing and painful all the same. She cried a little and I held her, before we started giggling about something stupid. We held each other practically the whole night through, under the covers, loving being wrapped into each other's skin.

Everything with Haley is fine, as much as it can be under these circumstances. She's standing by me.

But now _he's_ doing this and…

I'm that kid _again_, who revered as underneath I despised. I'm vulnerable. The weakest part of me that I try my best to reject most the time, _begs_ if he can take this all away. _End it Dad._ No matter how much I can hate him, I know Dan Scott _ends_ things well. You don't mess with Dan Scott. If he's doing this to help me, it can all be over. If he's doing it to ruin me,

_Well then it still will be all over, won't it?_

She comes out to our porch to tell me it's going to start, _Haley_, my wife, my lover, my protector, and oh God my best friend. She tells me things like…no matter what, Jamie and her will always love me, be there for me. I tell her how much I needed to hear that. And she echoes her need to say it. I hold her, kiss her forehead, keep her close and…

We have to go inside soon. We have to watch it. I have to watch and see what my dad's plan is. No more waiting. It's here now. Maybe there's some good in him, that unexplainable hero.

_But remember?_

He _MURDERED_ his own brother. It was no _accident_. It was no type of _defense_. My dad _robbed_ my uncle of his life. He took him from Lucas, from Karen, from Lily. From Jamie. From all of us.

_And yet_ one night when I was a scared kid, and in pain, because I injured my arm badly, and I couldn't play, and it hurt to go to sleep, to even move, he came to my bed and stroked my forehead. He whispered to me it was going to be okay. He gave me my pain medication and when I showed weakness and tried to shut it off, he just stayed with me. He just kept telling me it would be alright. He smiled and…

_Maybe he smiled when he shot his brother._

Jamie learned that less than a year ago. After Dan saved him from that psycho nanny, Jamie made Dan into his _hero_ grandfather. I wanted to keep my innocent son away from him, but I couldn't because he loved Dan so much. He loved the time they spent together. And Dan saved my son…_twice_. So I let them spend the time. Jamie's always been very smart though and observant. Just like his mom, I swear. He knew something wasn't being told. He figured it out little by little in his head. He knew Dan went to jail. He knew I didn't get along with the man that well. He saw Lucas and me punch him. He knew Dan had caused pain, and yet he wasn't sure of all of it.

Slowly, Haley and I had to tell him more. Jamie started learning about his uncle, hearing about him, and every time he wanted to know _more_. What was Uncle Keith like? What happened to him?

_Grandpa murdered Uncle Keith._

Maybe _that's_ what we should have told him right away. _But how do you tell a young innocent kid that?_ So Jamie asked the person who he knew would give him the whole truth and not avoid it with a tight loving smile. _He asked Dan._ The man has not always been honest. He's lied plenty. He told Jamie _the truth_ though that day. He had to know he was about to lose his best friend, his _only_ one. I could just imagine my son listening, hearing it, and then saying it.

_I want to go home Grandpa._

Dan sort of left Tree Hill after that, stayed away from Jamie, but would come back to hear I made the NBA. Dan's always been like that, in and out, since I filed for emancipation and won. Sometimes he's here, sometimes he's not. But even from this incredible distance now, he's got new strings to jerk me around. What's he going to do? What's his aim?

_He_ wanted this. The dream I got. He said at one time he wanted to marry Karen, Lucas's mom. But then my mom was pregnant with me. And he married mine. He never loved her though, or did he? Did he ever love Karen? Did he ever love his own brother whose life he ended with a filthy bullet?

Does he love me?

_Yes to the last one. With not a single doubt even if once I questioned it._

It's the question I don't want to have to give the answer to quickly, because it's not an _easy_ love. _It's riddled with deep dark ugly thorns._ It's a frightening one at times, and yet I don't think he's the villain. _Not entirely._ I think he's a bad man. I think he's played hero. I think he likes getting what he wants. I think he's a master manipulator. But he's more than a solid black twirling mustache enemy.

That night when Daunte went after me, and hit Haley instead, my mind lost all sense. My heart _exploded_ seeing my wife lying in the street, bleeding. I ran after his car and yanked him out, not knowing he was already dead, not caring. Blinded by fury and strangling pain. I punched him until my knuckles were raw. Dan came and dragged me away, told me to go to my wife. I didn't know then, but he punched his own knuckles into the ground to make them as red as mine. To make them bleed. He saved me from going to jail…

_Or_ did he already know Daunte was dead and wanted me to _need_ him, to rely on his help?

_The Puppet Master._

When I took those drugs and fell on the court, Dan was at my side first at the hospital, before my mom could even try to come, who he neglected to call. He stroked my forehead kindly, told me that we could lessen it up some. Then told me how we would get me ready again, told the doctor I would never take drugs.

_Since the day I was born Dan has manipulated me._ I have this wonderful wife and son, and still this man is part of my life and won't let go.

A part of me to utter,

He's not the villain. Just the bad man who plays hero. The man who massacred also saved the life of my son.

_Oh how he knows to rejoin those strings. Oh how he knows to make his puppet…_

_DANCE._

Haley looks at up me as we stand on our porch. She's holding me and I'm holding her. _She knows it's him._ That this has now gone beyond some woman lying about what I did to her. Maybe he's going to expose me tonight, show something new. Maybe he's going to try to save me, and expose her. I don't know. I don't know if I care anymore.

There's this old saying, _like father like son_.

It's delivered with sentimentality between fathers and sons who _understand_ each other, _love_ each other. And _protect_ each other.

There are fathers and sons who simply hate each other. The father hits the kid until he despises him. _Dan_ yanked me around by my arm. He kicked me in the ass. _But is that abuse as bad as sons who are beaten before going to bed?_ _Dan_ belittled me. He made me feel small. _But is that true verbal attacks?_

Dan stood with me on a bridge once, right when I was first dating Haley. He told me he loved me. _But he couldn't hug me._ He couldn't tell me that I could be whatever I wanted and he would still be my dad. I tell my son _that_ practically every day. I never _belittle_ him. I never _grab_ his arm. I _hug_ him as much as I can.

_Like father like son._

Dan used to make me go out on the court. Yelling. Ordering me to be the best. But if I truly fell, if I lost my balance, _he'd make sure I was okay_. He'd call me _Son_ and smile.

He rejected my brother. He says his mom kept him away, but then why did he try to keep Lucas and me apart? Why did he coach me that Lucas was my enemy and that I had to get rid of him? Maybe because he was afraid we would love each other. Maybe because he never loved his own brother _enough_.

Dan, my father, no matter what he has _reincarnated_ himself to be, _is a murderer, a liar, a manipulator, and a destroyer of dreams_. He said he once loved Karen, and yet did he care about _her tears, her shrieks_ when she found out Keith was dead? I still agonize with how…_how could he do it?_ How can you look your brother in the face and pull the fucking trigger?

How can you be the same man who my son innocently loved, before he found out the truth, and had a part of his innocence _lost_ in that moment?

How can you love me and do this to me?

_What's your plan Dad…huh? To murder my career? To save it? To make me suffer the lesson you never learned? Or will you bring her on to expose all her lies?_

_And if that's it Dad, what happens? I have to be grateful to you? I have to thank you?_

_Bastard_…you're still pulling those strings aren't you? You're still yanking me this way and that. I'm never going to be rid of you. Maybe my demented secret is I don't know if I want to be. There were moments…I loved you. I needed you. And you were there. And then you pulled me in the direction you wanted me. You love me. Maybe I still love you.

But I _hate_ you too.

I hate that every time you _slither_ back into my life…

_I am that puppet._

Haley looks up into my eyes. I grasp at her cheeks and kiss her gently, feeling her return it. She was my freedom then and she is now. She gave me a son to break the cycle. And I have successfully done it. I will walk into my house with her, the house we share, _the home_, and I will sit next to her and watch all this, and see what his plan is. After I will go be alone and she will come with me, and she will comfort me. And I will tell her whatever apologies are needed, for I am not so arrogant a man to deny my faults.

I will be _okay_. My wife will be _okay_. Our son will be _okay_. I'm going to go to sleep tonight with my wife in my arms and my son sleeping just a bedroom away safely. I'm going to wake up in the morning and be grateful for all I have. Maybe by then he'll have sealed my career's coffin, stealing from me what he didn't have the courage to fight for. Maybe this will all be over, because he will expose her for what she is…a LIAR. It really doesn't matter. I know because years ago I chose a different path than Dan Scott's planned-out one for me. I fell in love with a girl in high school and instead of abandoning her ever, _I married her_. I fathered a son who looks up to me with not just reverence, _but caring and full love_. The next morning, when it comes, won't be some nightmare because I have so many _awesome_ blessings. No one's going to destroy me. I'm going to smile when my wife kisses my cheek, and my son hugs me. I'm going to breathe in all the clean air, and I'm not going to sulk or give up any of this. I'm going to continue to affirm my part in all this, that I never slept with that woman. That I would never cheat on my wife, or disgrace my son. _I am not Dan Scott._ I never will be.

But I am and always will be…

_His Son._

I listened to him as a kid. I did what he wanted me to. I truly did love him and respect him. I sometimes argue he pretty much gave me nothing, and yet if I dig down deep enough, I know _that_ is not true, and not how I feel. He pushed me to win. I fight as hard for it today as I do, because of that _push_. He taught me arrogance and no fear, and I have little to _none_ when I am on the court playing with the _Bobcats_ in the high pressured NBA. Of course, on the other hand, he was awful at teamwork and taught me that it was all about winning, and you forget the other players. That is the _worst_ way to win a game. Your teammates _always_ matter. You better be able to work with them, and suck it up sometimes when you don't like one.

He protected Haley and Jamie. How do you reconcile that though with a man who can kill his own brother and lie about it at first? How can that man be the same person who saved the two most precious people in your life? Every time I want him out, he's there again. He's playing _hero_ again, before he darkly becomes the demon.

Get this though. If I hated him totally, if I thought he was such a black and white evil figure…

_Would I have ever let him be around my son at all?_

I don't know what he has planned for this show. I don't know what his _game objective_ is this time. I just know that as many times as I have wanted to end it, and have feared of it ending…

I am _his_ son. I am _Dan Scott's_ son.

Whether I like it or not, something inside me is a part of him. _Physically. Mentally. Weakly. Powerfully._ It is a twisted disturbed acceptance that's only comfort is the gentleness of my wife's hand holding at me to get me ready go in. I wish I could explain it to make it understandable. _But this even she cannot fully get._ I exclude him from my life, and yet a part of my flesh is his. MY DNA is linked to his. Maybe that's why I can never fully escape him. Maybe that's why one string _I couldn't cut_, and he's still pulling it about to make me jerk around. Maybe that's why I can't get away entirely.

As many times I have tried…

It's the cold truth down to the core.

Like Father Like Son.

_Like Father Like Curse._

_The End._

Thank you for reading. Feedback is adored.

I have no idea if the story on screen will be anything like this. I just know the promo inspired me. Seeing it, just made me have to write something on Nathan's feelings. Their (Dan and Nathan's) relationship has always been such a powerful part of the show for me. You can see why Nathan struggles, because Dan has protected him and his family in the past, but he's also done horrible cruel things. I do think Dan loves Nathan and probably vice versa, but that love can be so propped with conditions, and Nathan will never have an easy time with that, and so he lives his life as free of Dan as he can. He continues to break that mold to keep his family safe and happy.

The Lucas Jamie part was because I love the Lucas connection, period. I miss Lucas's voice on the show. And I think Jamie's being affected by all this a lot and that he may have reached out to his uncle. He may have needed to talk to his dad and mom for some reassurance. I watched that scene of him on the stairs and I pictured too that Nathan probably was the same as a boy, watching his own parents. Of course Jamie's circumstances are very different with parents who deeply love each other.

Anyway, I'm excited for the next episode. Hope we all get something really good.


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